


hidden laws of coincidence (or should I call it fate)

by reconstrictions



Category: K-pop, Nine Muses
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 01:34:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1167038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reconstrictions/pseuds/reconstrictions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something has changed without Kyungri's notice. She isn't certain she wants to know what it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hidden laws of coincidence (or should I call it fate)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Different Shapes (I should have listened, I shouldn't have listened)](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/35289) by smarket. 



> You need to read smarket's [Different Shapes (I should have listened, I shouldn't have listened)](http://smarket.livejournal.com/3036.html) first. This fic was written as a companion and parallel, and cannot be read as a standalone - the narrative jumps may not make sense.
> 
> Originally posted to [dreamwidth](http://ddoreureu.dreamwidth.org/3094.html).

It's practically a formality by now, Kyungri thinks, when she texts Hyemi asking if she's free for dinner and bubble tea after. The reply is always some variation of _'What time?'_ , and, occasionally, _'I found a new place you'll like!'_

And so the first time Kyungri receives a ' _Sorry!ㅠㅠ_ ' in reply, it feels like a slap. A mild, gentle slap on her arm (not her face, god _forbid_ her face) but a slap nonetheless. 

That's when she notices that Hyemi has been spending a lot of time with Sungah recently. It puzzles, to find routine of one and a half years changing without her realising it - it's always _Hyuna and Sungah_ just like it's always _Kyungri and Hyemi_. This disruption to what Kyungri knows is mildly annoying, made worse by Hyemi being infuriatingly vague about the time she spends with Sungah.

"Tch," Kyungri scoffs over gelato one afternoon. "Are you two secretly dating or something?"

She says it in sarcasm, a suggestion so ludicrous it is undeserving of attention at all.

But Hyemi actually _twitches_ , a jerk of her knee sending the table between them into precarious tremors, and Kyungri just manages to save her phone from toppling off the edge.

"Don't be stupid." Kyungri looks up in time to see Hyemi rolling her eyes. "That's just... Seriously. Are you going back to Busan for the new year?"

The diversion is clumsy, sloppier than Hyemi's usual ease with words. But Kyungri's grateful for it anyway, a line she can use to pull herself away from the sudden swell of discomfort

(It strikes Kyungri later that what she thought she understood is a tangled mess between her fingers, taken place so fast she'd completely missed to realised the unravelling.

Kyungri understands confusion. She understands secrets and complications that aren't meant to be shared.

She'd just never expected them from Hyemi and Sungah, of all people, and tells herself it's this surprise that causes that something inside her to twist and clench.)

*

Kyungri watches Hyemi. Kyungri watches Hyemi watching Sungah, yet all she ever sees is Hyemi's back, Hyemi's gaze remaining fixed on a point Kyungri can't see. On the odd glimpse that she manages to catch of Hyemi's face in these moments, her features are carefully interested in the way that Kyungri recognises as Hyemi's poker face.

Kyungri begins to watch Sungah, in hopes of seeing what Hyemi sees. Occasionally, their gazes catch, and Sungah always breaks out into a smile. 

Sungah never looks at Hyemi, never smiles at her and lights up like she does with Kyungri.

It infuriates Kyungri as much as it pleases her, and Kyungri doesn't understand why.

*

When Kyungri's KakaoTalk alerts her with the message, _'Bubble tea at the cafe, 4pm?'_ , she has to double check the sender - yes, it _is_ Sungah, and not Pyo Hyemi inviting her out.

Replying in the positive takes too long, requires much more deliberation than should be necessary. Meeting Sungah alone is a thing Kyungri doesn't do, not for bubble tea. Not like she would with Sera or Hyemi.

The plea to Hyemi writes itself, and takes far less time than Kyungri needed to send a simple 'sure' to Sungah. Kyungri has never had to worry around Hyemi, has never had to worry _about_ Hyemi before.

But she can't bring herself to send the message. Kyungri deletes it, letter by letter, confusion churning in her stomach.

*

Sungah walking her home is even more unusual but not totally unexpected, though this clinginess isn't often directed her way.

The kiss at her doorstep is another matter.

Kyungri doesn't push Sungah away so much as she recoils, back thudding painfully into her front door. Sungah's eyes are wide and fearful, already overflowing with hurt that Kyungri can see.

"Hyemi..." It's the wrong thing to say, yet the gasp escapes Kyungri before she can catch it in her throat.

Words failing her isn't a new thing. Kyungri stares in silence as Sungah's face finally crumples and she turns to flee, dashing down the stairway despite the elevator just ten paces away.

_'Hyemi.'_

Kyungri clings on to the name with a desperation she doesn't understand. Talking with Hyemi would make things better, all her instincts scream. Time and late hours have never been a hindrance, her voice on the line just a call away.

But Kyungri can't.

*

"Sorry."

An apology isn't the first thing Kyungri had meant to blurt out when they meet the next day. It forces its way through her lips and teeth, against her wishes and too late to recall. 

Hyemi's back stiffens, facial muscles locking up with an expression Kyungri can't recognise. Kyungri wants to take it back; doesn't even know what she's apologising for, this mistake that Hyemi seems to know better than she does. 

Backing down has never been Kyungri's style, and she doesn't know where or how to even begin with that. There's no way to go but forward, ploughing on and praying to come out unscathed.

(She would hope the same for Hyemi, but Kyungri already knows Hyemi is deeply hurt in a way she can only barely comprehend.

It makes Kyungri's heart ache, persistent and fierce. There's a persistent prickling at the back of her eyes too, and Kyungri doesn't know why.)

"Last night. Sungah-unni, she..." she begins, only to trail off.

"Congratulations." It rings hollow. Hyemi's eyes are cold and shuttered. It makes Kyungri wish she'd chosen somewhere else, somewhere less _neutral_ where she could take Hyemi by her shoulders and shake an explanation out of her. 

(Or pull her in close and never let go, because it's the only salve that will soothe this new pain that's running through Kyungri's veins, an ice-cold hunger that _wants_.)

*

"No." Kyungri shakes her head. "No. Not Sungah. I wanted... I wanted it to be you."

She says it quietly, but with all the force of a revelation that's only just struck her. Wonderment and panic; rising and mingling. Kyungri doesn't realise she has both hands tremblingly pressed to her mouth. She's only aware of numbing fear, spreading from her fingertips to her palms and down her wrists. 

And Hyemi, Hyemi-

Kyungri can't read Hyemi's expression, her own mind too overwhelmed.

Kyungri bolts out of the cafe, phone and clutch left behind her.

*

Kyungri spends the next five hours aimlessly wandering Hongdae. She fits in with the crowds of college students on a Friday night - meandering, talking, laughing. A detached part of her distantly envies their carefreeness, and Kyungri loses herself in this anonymity, pretending to be just a girl without a care in the world.

(She's never been without her phone for this long before, not even as a trainee. Its absence is keenly felt, her hands too awkward and empty without it to hold.

_'Does anyone know I'm gone?'_

Being alone is more than Kyungri can take right now. Being alone and anonymous brings with it terror of a kind. Alien. Engulfing.

Jamming her hands in her pockets, Kyungri hurries to make her way home.)

*

The buses have stopped running by the time Kyungri steps into her apartment complex. She isn't naive enough to be surprised when she finds Hyemi sitting in front of her door, knees drawn up to her chest and arms circling them. The sight makes Kyungri want to run again. (Whether it's away or towards Hyemi remains in question.)

She remains mute as Hyemi uncurls, can almost feel the stretch and click of muscles and bone from remaining in one position for too long. Hyemi looks as uncertain as Kyungri feels. It is as reassuring as it is terrifying.

"Hyemi..." Any other time and Kyungri would have winced at the dry croak. Instead she notices the minute shift in Hyemi's stance, the setting of her resolve. Kyungri wishes she could look away, brace herself for rejection, but her body refuses to listen.

Hyemi stands an arm's length from her now, unmoving. The distance stretches, every passing second wringing Kyungri's heart.

 _'This is a gulf I'll never bridge.'_ It is despair so bleak Kyungri can't understand it at first, until she feels it pushing out from inside and threatening to escape her skin.

She closes her eyes.

The only warning Kyungri has is a quiet exhale before she feels Hyemi close the remaining distance between them.

It's a kiss, pressed to the corner of her lips.

And Kyungri _breathes_ again, terror and wonderment forcing her eyes open to see Hyemi's shaky smile.

It'll be okay, Kyungri knows, as she slides her arms around Hyemi's waist. They'll be okay.


End file.
